Proud parents shout with
joy as athletic offspring
take the podium.

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Competitors used
to winning learn anew: to
take defeat in stride.

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He harvested crops
from the frozen food aisle at
the supermarket.

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The world is both im-
possibly gigantic and
charmingly cozy.

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These are my beliefs,
he thus declared to no one
in particular.

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Take better care of
your teeth by running a string
between them daily.

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A band of misfits
finds nothing in common and
goes its separate ways.

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I want to include
a lot of smart-sounding words
into my texting.

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The nightmare is the
same: Get to class on time and
prepare for lecture.

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The greatness of our
country can be found in such
grand diversity.

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He alone took on
responsibility of
fulfillment and self.

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Old American
proverb: May you live in peak
television times.

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O my Luve is like
a red, red state that’s barely
solvent in July.

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What fresh novella
or biography awaits
a hearty reading?

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1. the paradox of southern hospitality
   Carpetbagger scribes
   and activists come down to
   save us from ourselves.
2. trolls nameless and otherwise
   Anonymity
   is not the source of hatred.
   A fetid heart is.
3. basic dreams of sweets and breads
   I think ahead to
   cheat day, but also cheat days
   past and their menus.
4. a creed for us
   We let go, we move
   on. We dream big, we fall hard.
   We hope and we help.
5. earth day eve
   A pine tree decked with
   pine cones and live squirrels to mark
   the birth of our world.
6. i would die for you
   I’m not your lover,
   not your friend, I’m something you’ll
   never comprehend.
7. a shared culture
   Our scarce reactions
   as a society hide
   themselves as mourning.
8. the afternoon cookout
   All we can ask for
   is a little shared time with
   friends and family.
9. the modern diet
   Food products that can
   be consumed in the car or
   at a desk by hand.
10. the furtive chunks of progress
    Speaking up is a
    bold act. As is letting your
    guard down, and smiling.
11. april 27, 2011
    Hell on Earth comes as
    a barrage of furious
    tornados and storms.
12. ice cream for breakfast
    Cool morning treat, plus
    an opportunity for
    bacon as dessert.
13. a fading star
    He saw beloved
    faces at every turn, yet
    could not name a one.
14. the haunted house on perry street
    No one fondled the
    randy geezer stuck in the
    governor’s mansion.
15. julian’s katrina
    Like Dubya, he flew
    high above the ruins of
    his land without care.
16. committed adultery in his heart many times
    What does it take to
    drive off a wife of 50
    years? Look out with lust.
17. love to feel them titles
    Tuscaloosa, tops
    in gymnastics, football and
    cheating governors.
18. the ballad of han solo
    A divorced war vet
    with a no-good brat, junked ship
    and restless Wookiee.
19. follow the instructions
    Deviating from
    the rules is not allowed. Why
    not stick to the norm?
20. dear fellow moviegoer
    Turning on your phone
    during the film gives me a
    bad retinal burn.
21. let the grownups talk
    Adulting isn’t
    just a stupid word but a
    stupid concept, too.
22. garage sale badge
    Test of salesmanship:
    Unloading a futon for
    almost the same price.
23. the letters unsent
    Unwritten words stay
    off reams of stationery,
    frozen and silent.
24. dance like several people are watching
    Staying on your toes,
    regulating your rhythm,
    keeping up your smile.
25. kneel before sod
    Grassy transplants hid
    the scalp of the ya waiting
    for rain and chipmunks.
26. the forever echo
    Reaching out, he would
    pick up on a faint pulse, then
    lose it in the hush.
27. familiar steps into the unknown
    Take my hand and don’t
    let go. Close your eyes, follow
    your heart and breathe deep.
28. tactile beings
    A reality
    composed of stamps, bullfrogs, milk,
    paper and kisses.
29. life in the 21st century
    A combination
    of notifications, memes
    and medications.
30. bob’s -30-
    A great reporter
    but also a great human
    all in one body.
31. keep birmingham weird
    Renegade skaters
    hunt artisanal popsicles
    and hoppy craft beers.
32. with lyrics by the cakehole
    The best songs come from
    the diaphragm with support
    from the trachea.
33. best behavior
    An illusion of
    camaraderie with a
    hint of courtesy.
34. up with down-ballot
    Who’s president does
    matter, but who occupies
    lower posts counts more.
35. white sauce is the devil
    Chicken, grilled or smoked,
    deserves a tangy red coat.
    White is for the birds.
36. the birmingham style of pit barbecue
    Vinegar with a
    hint of sweet, over pulled pork
    and sometimes chicken.
37. know your fixins
    Corn muffins is a
    side. Mac and cheese is a veg-
    gie. Pie is a side.
38. not on my paper plate
    A dry rub is not
    for me. Nor is mustard sauce
    or straight smokiness.
39. butts on the night shift
    The pitmaster woke
    several times to check the heat
    and meat before dawn.
40. next to the cartoon pig
    Look for a shack in
    the woods with a smiling cook
    and surly waitress.
41. the backyard crew
    Cheers to the weekend
    grillers and their smokers and
    charcoal and slow heat.
42. the modern litmus test
    Decoding a friend’s
    serial vaguebooking by
    one and all watching.
43. the doctor will misdiagnose you now
    You’re either three months
    pregnant or suffering from
    a case of scurvy.
44. the battle done
    Lay down your arms and
    re weary soldier. The war
    rages on and on.
45. on top of everything else
    The stout newcomer
    irked the nudist colonists
    with his rakish hat.
46. overthinking and underrating
    The Yelp rating is
    two stars but the line is all
    the way down the block.
47. the modern seamstress
    Hands full with thread and
    needle, stitching up a storm
    while rocking the tats.
48. while birmingham rots
    The crooked don’t see
    themselves as crooked, but as
    some goddamned saviors.
49. prick us, do we not bloviate?
    Crowdsourcing your woes
    leads to one truth needle in
    a pompous haystack.
50. the sidewalk fit for domesticated hikers
    The urban trail ends
    at the corner of Starbucks
    and homeless beggars.
51. kitchen magic
    A sprinkle of this,
    a heap of that and a knack
    for subtle flavors.
52. a talent for escape
    They left to seek their
    fortunes elsewhere, weary of
    broken promises.
53. what pugs find hilarious
    Barking dogs laugh at
    me while I pull weeds and tend
    the overgrown yard.
54. 500 yards shy
    Computer map, why
    didn’t you warn us about
    the fault in our way?
55. a streak of lazy
    Wash the car, clean the
    house, darn the socks, feed the dog.
    Or take a long nap.
56. ethics is a four-letter word
    Speaker of the house
    goes to the big house after
    house of cards crumbles.
57. do what you hate
    A prescription for
    a long, dull life, but one that
    avoids temptations.
58. trouble brewing
    We live in a place
    of guns and hatred. We are
    addicted to both.
59. the 26th mile
    Her lungs burned with each
    labored step, her legs struggling
    with locomotion.
60. missing in transit
    Grandma’s care package
    made it through Midwest to some
    lucky bastard’s house.
61. ghoul’s fold
    The paper caved in
    on itself to reveal a
    hideous duckling.
62. journey of the crafted crane
    Is the art in the
    folding, or in transforming
    trees into paper?
63. crease and desist
    The artist bends the
    sheet to his will, a surface
    becomes a sculpture.
64. patterns of misbehavior
    The crime of being
    mediocre is: It’s how
    it’s always been done.
65. a conversation about mores
    Do it this way and
    remain unharmed. Do it that
    way and pay the price.
66. the ballad of mike hubbard
    The most powerful
    hillbilly in hillbilly
    land pled for big bucks.
67. the carefree days of summer
    Arts camp plus gluten-
    free snacks with cram sessions and
    optional screen time.
68. to reach the unreachable fan
    To tweet the impos-
    sible update. To troll the
    untrollable troll.
69. terms and conditions
    Spelling it out makes
    little difference if you
    are averse to words.
70. there goes the continent
    A revolt among
    the masses reminds all who
    rules Britannia.
71. so are the days of our lives
    Solar, lunar, fis-
    cal, broadca Julian, He-
    brew, Gregorian …
72. hungry for perspectives
    Right or wrong, old or
    young, traditional or mod,
    let’s take it all in.
73. instead of mockery, try
    Applause for those who
    make the effort, who try new
    things, who grow and grow.
74. on hold for 20 minutes
    Compromise is the
    bargain we make with ourselves
    while raging inside.
75. and also the humidity
    There’s hot, and then there’s
    Alabama hot. Let’s fly
    to the sun and chill.
76. warm up the grill
    The burgers go here,
    the steaks there, with room for hot
    dogs, pork and chicken.
77. hints of gunpowder and awe
    Double-wide trailer,
    a firecracker heaven
    along the highway.
78. the king of boors
    America is
    more than just a crummy beer
    named America.
79. be a firework
    Hail independence
    by showing up for duty
    on Nov. 8.
80. a battle of wits
    Can’t win with trolling,
    snark, sarcasm or logic.
    Win with pure laughter.
81. humans of birmingham
    The photographer
    takes a blurry shot of grads
    before fleeing town.
82. the second-best medicine
    For all-around aches
    and injuries, probably
    some penicillin.
83. and now i can’t breathe
    Someone told me she’s
    OK with cops murdering
    500 people.
84. when you’re ready to give up
    Everything’s pointless
    nothing really matters and
    oh look, a puppy!
85. the big day under the knife
    Her birthday suit is
    a hospital gown, and her
    cake is Jell-O cups.
86. reboot or sleep
    No matter how hot
    the shower or the coffee,
    the mind won’t stay woke.
87. triangle park
    A green wedge houses
    both the spiral slide and the
    rectangular bench.
88. lost and untethered
    Do we shout even
    louder or march in protest?
    What’s a soul to do?
89. the perfect counterfeit
    Alike in every
    way, down to the annoying
    smudge and ghastly flaws.
90. the unreceding recession
    So many workers
    wanted jobs that they’d jump at
    any opening.
91. the feckless coup
    Soldiers strike to take
    a government away from
    their society.
92. competitive spirit
    What binds the workers
    together, hatred of the
    rivals or the boss?
93. sizzling jam
    For rhythm, for rock,
    for fellowship, for beer, for
    fun and for summer.
94. the broken library
    Rainwater drips on
    defenseless books, stairwells as
    the sole escape routes.
95. the open is mightier than the sword
    To ward off a fierce
    storm with nothing more than a
    sturdy umbrella.
96. the turtle hunt
    A parade of shells
    ambles ever so slowly
    down the beach at dusk.
97. blockhead syndrome
    It’s the jerks that need
    the most help and hardest to
    rehabilitate.
98. the truest believer
    Always fell in line.
    Always believed his bosses.
    Always came in last.
99. the squeeze machine
    A full-body hug
    without the intricacies
    of human contact.
100. the quest for positive
     He saw the world as
     broken and aimed to heal it
     with positive acts.
101. a sprinkle on top
     Each dollop of fresh
     batter received a sprinkle
     of sugar for fun.

• • •

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