Video: Comedian Leslie Jones saves your Thanksgiving
from family quarrels. 

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! Enjoy this clip from “The Daily Show.”

Video: Livestream of the 2023 National Veterans Day parade

America’s biggest parade is back, and the route is a little bit different this year.

The 2023 National Veterans Day parade starts at 1 p.m. downtown and runs till 4:30 p.m.  The video livestream above will have coverage of the event starting at 1:30 p.m.

Map: National Veterans Day parade route

Video: A SAG strike-friendly holiday.

Happy Halloween!

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1. not-so-temporary classrooms
   Learning in trailers,
   an age-old tradition for
   overcrowded schools.
2. the haunted bathroom
   The toilet would flush
   by itself, because ghosts need
   to relieve themselves.
3. battle of the deplorables
   They jabbed in comment
   sections and heaped insults on
   those they found too “woke.”
4. rip tina turner
   She prowled the stage as
   the queen of rock ‘n’ roll no
   matter the decade.
5. the morning pledge
   Never too soon to
   get the school children voicing
   patriotism.
6. say what, grandma?
   She asked if I knew
   how to speak the language; I
   just shook my head no.
7. ai ex machina
   Dost thou require
   sustenance? ERROR ERROR
   ARCHAIC LANGUAGE
8. the tale of the billionaire submarine
   Suddenly, their steel
   coffin implodes over the
   briny ocean floor.
9. gathering of the neighborhood
   They came with chairs and
   dishes to celebrate and
   watch the fireworks.
10. mongolian barbecue explained
    The chefs take your bowl
    of fixins and fry it on
    a circular grill.
11. the summer of leisure
    Watch bonfires, play
    video games, sleep in and
    eat whatever’s there.
12. plans for the future
    Higher learning or
    trade school? Move out or stay home?
    Get job or study?
13. flirting with menus
    He would text her the
    link to restaurants and wait
    for her decision.
14. the ungrateful undead
    Elderly dad huffs
    at daughter, the volunteer
    caregiver for years.
15. sweat everywhere
    On the forehead and
    chest, in the pits and butt crack,
    dripping dripping wet.
16. the fallen watermelon
    The gourd crashed into
    the kitchen floor, leaving chunks
    of red everywhere.
17. punching up, punching down
    One is funny, and
    the other is scoring laughs
    without dignity.
18. the job no one wanted
    They went back and forth,
    disagreeing over who
    was more qualified.
19. the alumni gathering
    They got off Facebook
    long enough to exchange toasts
    and share old stories.
20. i have only my imagination
    My brain takes me to
    crazy situations and
    exotic places.
21. barry
    Hitman turned actor
    discovers himself onstage
    and can knock ’em dead.
22. bye bye, braces
    Metal contraption
    making teeth straighter comes off
    with nary a scratch.
23. party math
    Number of guests times
    units of food divided
    by flavor appeal.
24. darkest timeline
    Doomscrolling poisoned
    by suggested followers,
    dumb posts, sundry ads.
25. enshittification of the internet
    Build a great product,
    then let it rot as they hone
    in on short-term gains.
26. writers’ strike, day 81
    Writers have always
    struggled with getting fair pay
    for all they create.
27. the struggle to find meaningful work
    The job listings run
    together in a blur of
    keywords and must-haves.
28. escape to nashville
    Head down to Broadway
    and check out honky-tonks with
    their blaring music.
29. prescription hassles
    Tried mailing it and
    faxing it and calling it
    in. Just want my drugs.
30. finding scapegoats
    We can’t blame ourselves.
    The responsibility
    goes to another.
31. greedflation
    When they raise prices
    just because they can, it’s a
    struggle to get by.
32. cop city
    A police training
    site that the people don’t want
    in their wooded lot.
33. wither the absurdist?
    We’ll always need a
    dose of comedy in some
    unexpected ways.
34. what is the nature of creativity?
    Imitation or
    originality? Where
    does it all come from?
35. the spend-the-night bag
    Pajamas, mouth guard,
    book and saline solution
    for a night from home.
36. fifty years of hip hop
    Bronx born with rapping,
    DJing, graffiti and
    break dancing in one.
37. there’s a better poem here somewhere
    First draft needs a lot
    of revision to make it
    to its final draft.
38. global boiling
    Last month will be the
    hottest month ever until
    this month breaks records.
39. hottest trend of the summer
    AC repairman
    sweats it out each house call as
    he brings back coolness.
40. barbecue wings on wheels
    Rolling through the town
    to bring lunch options to some
    hungry office folk.
41. who still uses cash?
    Cash is king, except
    dealing with those coins and bills
    ain’t worth the hassle.
42. who still uses checks?
    Let me go find my
    checkbook and a pen and write
    out the transaction.
43. roadtrip to atlanta
    Watch the clock so we
    can time our arrival to
    avoid rush hour.
44. summer sleep schedule
    The sheer delights of
    staying up late and rising
    whenever you choose.
45. the hottest auditorium
    Movie fans sweat it
    out for 2 hours in a
    room without AC.
46. school will never be the same again
    Who needs thinking when
    you have AI to do your
    homework in a blink?
47. the kidnapping that wasn’t
    She claimed to see a
    baby on the road and led
    officers astray.
48. the unintended consequences
    Roe v. Wade is dead,
    as are women who have been
    denied basic care.
49. reading round the clock
    Plenty of time for
    binging and doomscrolling, need
    to make time for books.
50. the comedian’s decline
    The punchlines need to
    be punchier, lest the laughs
    become scantier.
51. bojack horseman
    Former sitcom star
    spends his days aimlessly drunk
    and melancholy.
52. even worse than the court of public opinion
    The court of public
    opinion in the age of
    social media.
53. walking for peace
    They traveled from North
    to South Korea through the
    DMZ gauntlet.
54. the historymakers
    Black notables grant
    interviews about their lives
    for posterity.
55. pick a direction!
    They agonized for
    weeks about the new project.
    Deciding was tough.
56. the external lung
    Strap your face into
    the silent contraption that
    breathes life into sleep.
57. mostly couples goofing around
    A strange assortment
    of TikToks and Reels that bring
    smiles and make your day.
58. fun around the pool
    Float around with friends,
    sipping coladas, swatting
    insects, keeping cool.
59. smoke gets in your eyes
    Gas crisis: We choke
    on bad air from fires a
    continent away.
60. long distance affair
    She ran off to be
    with her married lover, just
    to end up alone.
61. a life beyond numbers
    Up until this point,
    he depended on stats to
    manage him daily.
62. the sleep clinic
    Take a bed, get wired
    up and go to sleep. In the
    morning, some answers.
63. the goat of mountain brook
    Billy scampered to
    unknown streets, finding ways to
    escape his captors.
64. ads are everywhere
    A flower blossoms.
    Try new Metamucil Plus.
    The petals shine bright.
65. an almost concert
    The show must go on,
    except when the artist is
    too sick to perform.
66. down with patriarchy
    Let men run the world,
    they said. What could possibly
    go awry, they said.
67. summer’s end
    Pack up the swimsuits,
    put away the sunblock, get
    ready for the fall.
68. the day the ac died
    Sob in horror as
    the house transforms into a
    gigantic oven.
69. a billionaire’s whims
    Indulge in petty
    payback while desperately
    trying to seem cool.
70. mercury northward
    Next year, we’ll look back
    on this summer as coolest
    one in our lifetimes.
71. kickin’ ass for the working class
    Join together and
    fight the greedy CEOs
    for a bigger slice.
72. drive-through and through
    The big revamp leads
    to a restaurant with more
    cars, fewer diners.
73. foodie fantasy
    I want to try all
    the restaurants, if I can
    find them when open.
74. somebody hates these cans
    These cans are begging
    to be organized, not just
    left there on some shelf.
75. on forgetfulness
    I seem to have lost
    track of recent memories,
    the scope I don’t know.
76. have you tried not socializing?
    We could go out, or
    spend the evening quietly
    in our fine jammies.
77. could’ve sworn it was a parking lot
    Before anyone
    realized it, a surprise
    Waffle House popped up.
78. did we win the war on terror?
    Seems like we gave the
    terrorists more reasons to
    fight back everywhere.
79. analysis paralysis
    Too many choices
    leaves us unable to pick
    one among the crowd.
80. feeling blah
    Depression sometimes
    lurks as demotivation
    to do anything.
81. painting in the warehouse
    A sweaty, dusty
    task turning black to white in
    several even coats.
82. on the 60th
    Addie Mae, Carole,
    Cynthia and Denise, may
    they rest in power.
83. foot-in-mouth disease
    Without trying, he
    managed to insult most of
    the staff. What a dolt.
84. four indictments
    Such is the state of
    our democracy when one
    leader’s out on bail.
85. the hidden weight
    She refused to step
    on a scale, the tyranny
    of numbers ended.
86. atomic nightmare
    Unleashing the bomb
    has brought us to the brink of
    nuclear holocaust.
87. a day at the cineplex
    Warm popcorn and cold
    soda, heated seats and fun
    fans. Roll the movies!
88. the overnight guests
    They need a respite
    from the stuffy abode and
    myriad of pets.
89. lo–fi hip–hop beats to study/relax to
    Late into the night,
    he pored over his textbooks
    looking for answers.
90. fall is coming
    Fall is coming. Fall
    is here. Fall is a blessing
    each and every year.
91. gathering in nashville
    Four friends hit the town
    for musical adventures
    and grand fellowship.
92. birthday boy
    He brought his buddies
    to the pool where they could swim,
    splash and celebrate.
93. the yelling kind
    Screaming rage sets off
    my anxiety, a fear
    reaction triggered.
94. withering inspiration
    Someday, the muse will
    stop dropping by and all things
    creative will die.
95. game show dreams
    Let me guess the price
    of a waterbed, so I
    can win on TV.
96. people who need church the most
    “Jesus was a dang
    lib’rul, needs to toughen up
    against illegals.”
97. double duty
    Why wash the dishes
    before sticking them in the
    dishwasher? No clue.
98. the awful waffle
    Small booths and semi-
    filthy bar await diners
    starving for vittles.
99. ova here
    Hard boiled, over
    easy, scrambled, hollandaise,
    omelette and just raw.
100. senior discount
     The older you are,
     the more you can save by just
     being not dead yet.
101. what is a cult?
     A charismatic
     leader working on raising
     funds and brainwashing.

• • •

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Read more poetry at Wade’s Daily Haiku.

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Video: Why we celebrate Labor Day

Happy Labor Day! The U.S. Department of Labor put together this video on the importance of workers.

Video: Gloria Gaynor performs “I Will Survive”
for “A Capitol Fourth” TV special.

•

Happy birthday, America!

Enjoy this musical celebration from the 2022 “A Capitol Fourth” special.

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1. getting lucky
   Luck can be found in
   a four-leaf clover or a
   session of hard work.
2. the long detour
   She missed the turn but
   cheerfully announced that we’d
   get there soon enough.
3. kinda like macrotransactions
   Microtransactions
   give unfair advantages
   to those who can pay.
4. to renew ourselves
   Blossom in the sun.
   Breathe deep the seasonal air.
   Bounce toward the new.
5. videosis
   The algorithm
   feeds us reel after reel as
   we stare in stupor.
6. the youngest leader in the world
   She will stand up to
   dictators and still get down
   with her compadres.
7. the forever artist
   The machine cranks out
   Picassos in the style of
   modern day Rembrandt.
8. defense against the dark artists
   What will deter the
   all-consuming computer
   from scanning it all?
9. the woman who tore down women
   Assured in her own
   gender, the author decried
   others as faux girls.
10. peddling lies
    Even they couldn’t
    be bothered to feign interest
    in the dreck they sold.
11. school’s out for springtime
    Sleep in and play games.
    Put homework and studying
    on the back burner.
12. and for her next job …
    A better health plan,
    more time off and, of course, a
    bigger salary.
13. brunch impossible
    All the late risers
    and church folk eyed the waiting
    list with deep hunger.
14. paperwork of getting older
    Where do we keep our
    accounts? Who’s our main doctor?
    What are the passwords?
15. the old man at the door
    She found him in need,
    as ungrateful as ever.
    Still, she didn’t run.
16. the lost art of pranks
    Have we lost our touch
    with practical jokes and their
    hilarious ends?
17. well-publicized trysts
    Their encounters caught
    on pics were the only proof
    of enduring love.
18. new flavors of every food
    Weird potato chips,
    cereals from candy bars
    and mincemeat cookies.
19. return to office or else
    Bosses need someone
    to boss around, have under
    foot, doing the work.
20. lunacy in the bedroom
    The grunts and flailing
    limbs, awkward positions and
    preposterous faces.
21. happy birthday, jen!
    Older and wiser,
    happier and sexier,
    primed for a great year.
22. other birminghams
    Michigan, Kansas,
    England, Indiana and
    three in Ohio.
23. the landfill fire
    Bad garbage with good,
    set aflame and still smoking
    after all these months.
24. the pastel ritual of spring
    Easter bunnies and
    spring chickens team up to hide
    fancy eggs from kids.
25. i’m an introvert ama
    I like to talk one-
    on-one and explore the vast
    reaches of the mind.
26. making radio
    A cup of coffee,
    some fresh tunes, a hot mic and
    a little banter.
27. flea market finds
    Branded candles and
    patriotic flags, T-shirts
    and some handmade soaps.
28. home movies
    Why bother with the
    pricy theater when we
    can watch on streaming?
29. shopping mall makeover
    A new store here, a
    refurbished store there. Shoppers
    flock to their havens.
30. the intuitive eater
    Listen closely and
    you will hear your body ask
    for the correct food.
31. compulsive saving
    Squirreling away stray
    dollars in case of rainy
    year. It pays to save.
32. hot flashes, cold stares
    The bed is too hot.
    The bed is too cold. The bed
    is not to blame, dear.
33. your tax dollars at work
    Give every paycheck
    and give more at tax time and
    get cheap governance.
34. the tattered yard
    Mud holes surrounded
    by sprouting weeds and patchy
    grass. Needs an upgrade.
35. she takes good care of me
    A place for me to
    unwind, to be fed, to be
    treated like a king.
36. tornado alley
    Beware the darkened
    skies and nearby polygons
    for they bring ill winds.
37. the reign of the drag queens
    A man in a dress.
    But won’t somebody please think
    about the children?
38. the case of the $80 cinnamon rolls
    Apparently the
    kind rich folks eat on their yachts
    while sipping champagne.
39. standing room only
    A sea of bobbing
    heads, a breeze of skunky weed,
    a band set to rock.
40. to the dump
    The pickup only
    gets AM, hauling off our
    treasured pile of junk.
41. the great car cleanup
    We reach over and
    under seats to collect the
    mountains of discards.
42. gen pop
    Alabama builds
    more prisons while the people
    suffer in silence.
43. the super closet
    The wire shelves and
    baskets give every item
    a place to hang out.
44. puppy training pays off
    The obedient
    dog demonstrates his newfound
    calmer demeanor.
45. shorties at a concert
    Enjoy the back of
    someone’s head while sipping on
    an overpriced beer.
46. the poet’s charade
    Is this really a
    verse about me or someone
    else? It’s up to you.
47. weaponizing southernness
    Who are these weirdos
    selling biscuits in our back
    yard? Pricy and twee.
48. jackass, md
    He barely glances
    at the patient and huffs that
    he’s late to dinner.
49. all growing because of climate change
    Hurricanes, fires,
    droughts, rain showers, heat waves, floods,
    blizzards, tornadoes.
50. but i don’t get dance
    Their artistry moves
    you, their athleticism
    inspires wonder.
51. the death of a potato chip dynasty
    The damn yankees snatched
    up a hometown favorite
    just to watch it die.
52. the hardest person to forgive
    You screw up, and you
    get upset. But it’s OK
    to be imperfect.
53. dead to the world
    He would not get up,
    despite the yelling and the
    banging on the door.
54. the next big leap
    Ready for a change,
    stepping out into the world
    of books, beer, BAs.
55. football on skates
    Drop the puck, y’all, and
    let the brawl commence. Even
    the South loves hockey.
56. fail, fall, fool
    Will it be a good
    summer if you’re repeating
    the 10th grade?
57. counting macros
    This bite will cost me
    18 calories and an
    extra 20 reps.
58. summer’s coming
    Only a few more
    school days to go till the great
    forgetting begins.
59. don’t pay me in candy, weirdo
    I expected cash.
    Instead, I got a Twix and
    a goddamn Mars bar.
60. journey on the mississippi
    Paddling along the
    grand waterway in search of
    an old legacy.
61. living in trailers
    A cheap version of
    the American dream, home
    sweet mobile home.
62. too much celebrating at janet jackson
    The party guy is
    carefully escorted from
    his seat to the door.
63. the vinyl vanguard
    Fans who want a piece
    of the artist collect disks
    of recorded songs.
64. hot to trot
    Several suitors
    vie for sexy time with a
    foxy bachelorette.
65. the graduate 2023
    BA in TikTok
    with minor in CRT,
    ready for the real world.
66. tcby not
    Everyone has that
    one business they can’t support
    because it sucks bad.
67. learn the ropes
    Knots: fun to tie, hard
    to remember, not just for
    Boy Scouts and sailors.
68. ode to my therapist
    Listening to my
    nonsense and giving tips for
    over a decade.
69. listening is a superpower
    It takes focus and
    selflessness. We must truly
    engage with others.
70. careful folding
    Perfect creases turn
    common paper into a
    magnificent crane.
71. cookout prep
    Scrape the grill, prep the
    meat, stock up on charcoal and
    locate the lighter.
72. streamer’s paradise
    An effortless way
    with words, a gift for wasting
    precious time online.
73. gendered ghetto
    When you don’t fit the
    standard categories for
    awards in your field.
74. addicted to combat
    If the U.S, is
    good at one thing, it’s fighting
    in war after war.
75. ticketma$ter
    An artist must sell
    tickets, but must they use the
    worst company? Yes.
76. the challenge of cheap social media
    To learn more about
    us, endlessly scroll through our
    random Instagram.
77. on strike
    Writers bond while on
    the picket line, gathering
    momentum each day.
78. dietary needs
    More sugar, more carbs,
    a radical change in what
    I consume daily.
79. amphibians after hours
    Tiny frogs hopping
    into the pool to play and
    swim all through the night.
80. tome sweet tome
    She searched box after
    box, looking for an old book
    that’s been on her mind.
81. green tea at the japanese supermarket
    It’s here somewhere in
    the aisles, hiding among a
    bevy of products.
82. date night
    Get gussied up for
    an evening of fancy drinks
    and lavish dining.
83. moping around the house
    Too alone with no
    plans, no activities, just
    me and depression.
84. a fitness competition
    Who can do the most
    sit-ups, squats and miles? Winner
    gets a hernia.
85. murder city
    Bullets are flying,
    people are dying, and the
    cops are in the dark.
86. summer travel pro tip
    Better get to the
    airport early, so they can
    cancel your first flight.
87. carbon zero
    Take out all the stray
    dioxide and pump it straight
    into solid ground.
88. spirited away: the drama
    Master film becomes
    whole new beast as staged play with
    fantastic puppets.
89. try this one stupid trick to vanquish censorship
    Banned books are the best
    books, but you’ll have to find that
    out all on your own.
90. what a drag brunch
    Fabulous ladies
    bring mimosas, croon Gaga
    and spread love to all.
91. baker’s lament
    The layers aren’t quite
    flat enough, and the icing
    is full of loose crumbs.
92. attention deficit
    We compete for her
    favor, thinking up ways to
    win her heart and mind.
93. a depressive state
    Not so much dreaded
    as defeated. Familiar
    feeling of the funk.
94. the block of new garbage cans
    Up and down the street,
    they stand at attention for
    the garbage truck’s hook.
95. mid-morning bathroom break
    He came from nowhere
    to use the facilities,
    slipping out softly.
96. correspondence corner
    It’s always nice to
    get a thank you note, written
    with care and kindness.
97. summer is here
    Sprinklers and lightning
    bugs, cold drinks and barbecues,
    longer days for fun.
98. phantom boxcars
    The alarms clanged with
    the gates down, but no train passed
    through the lone crossing.
99. roe v. wade, 1973-2022
    Five justices quashed
    women’s reproductive rights
    in a single vote.
100. the first anniversary
     Today, we drink to
     our couplehood after 1
     year of lovely dates.
101. for the siskels and eberts
     Can a critic who
     hates the work offer a good,
     fair-minded review?

• • •

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Read more poetry at Wade’s Daily Haiku.

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Video: 2023 National Memorial Day Concert

Happy Memorial Day!

Enjoy music and more from the 2023 National Memorial Day Concert in Washington.

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1. death of a friendship
   They couldn’t see each
   other as they are now, but
   as who they were then.
2. stages of braces
   Anticipation,
   soreness, weird accent, soreness,
   swishing out food bits.
3. it all comes down to a sliver of voters
   Everyone sticks to
   their parties, and a group of
   moderates then chooses.
4. crucial conversations
   Moving from fight or
   flight to safety for all who
   fill up knowledge pool.
5. final stages
   He’s going to talk
   with his dad about elder
   care choices to come.
6. exploring the world of food
   They tried every new
   restaurant, reading menus,
   picking cool dishes.
7. the return of beavis and butt-head
   Teenage duo wreak
   havoc while cracking jokes at
   music videos.
8. the little burrito shop
   A family-run
   place where the burritos rule
   and the tacos strut.
9. where’s the mistletoe?
   A sprig can lead to
   a first kiss can lead to one
   more kiss can lead to …
10. funny ornaments
    Old school art projects,
    sports mascots, talking cartoons
    and assorted kitsch.
11. it’s the bought that counts
    Gift cards are perfect
    for control freaks: Spend this much
    at only this place.
12. tiktok: where issues go to die
    If it’s not happy
    happy, if it spotlights a
    cause, it’s banned all right.
13. four bags of clothes
    One to donate, one
    to trash. One to sell, one to
    give to a dear friend.
14. but who will stand for the white man?
    Embracing the right’s
    Christian nationalism
    makes for holy war.
15. war crimes in ukraine
    Putin brandishes
    his military might by
    killing families.
16. visions of winter
    Southerners dream of
    snow, but wake up to icy
    nightmares all around.
17. thermodynamically deficient
    Shivering around
    the house, in the car, at the
    store. Always too cold.
18. shopping maul
    Should we still look for
    the perfect gift, or will we
    make do with these socks?
19. virtual lap, virtual ear
    Santa takes time to
    field last-minute Zoom calls from
    those good boys and girls.
20. a christmas wish
    Could we lay down the
    guns for a day and start a
    little peace on earth?
21. thirty marvel movies and counting
    Are we tired of
    movies based on comic books?
    Watch IP freely.
22. what i did in 2022
    Met my girlfriend, got
    new job and computer, paid
    off all debt, walked miles.
23. hankering for tales, tall and otherwise
    More people are swayed
    by compelling stories than
    dry facts on their own.
24. over before it started
    Let’s resolve to make
    ourselves better in— Screw it
    and pass the cheesecake.
25. closing the year in a tizzy
    Spending the last week
    hurriedly trying to do
    everything listed.
26. the quiet countdown
    Nine, eight, seven, six,
    five, four, three, two, one. Happy
    New Year, we whisper.
27. new year’s wish
    Hoping for growth, peace
    and all things wonderful in
    2023.
28. pandemic year four
    The virus surges,
    and the death toll rises. Why
    aren’t we doing more?
29. photos of who i am now
    The most glaring change
    is the biggest smile that you’ve
    ever partaken.
30. old knees
    The legs work fine, save
    for creaky joints that sometimes
    need a little rest.
31. gingerbread housing
    The roof leaks icing,
    the windows are all muddy,
    the walls are falling.
32. pocket computers
    Use them to record
    moments, calculate bearings,
    learn about the world.
33. suggested food trucks
    Pancakes, whiskey snow
    cones, pies, chitlins, kimchi and
    deep-fried everything.
34. hop on a plane
    Take flight on an old
    747 to
    visit a new land.
35. southwest gone south
    Their planes stood frozen
    on the tarmac. Their agents
    unable to move.
36. streaming meltdown
    How do you win fans
    with mediocre programs
    and rising prices?
37. reverse to-do list
    She added items
    already done to keep track
    of her performance.
38. alas twitter
    Whoever thought that
    tweeting would prove to be more
    trouble than its worth?
39. murder central
    Bodies drop every
    day in the city. Nothing
    slows down the killing.
40. first time in south america
    Hopping continents
    to embrace new people and
    absorb more culture.
41. hiding the special ice cream
    It resides in the
    secret freezer to keep those
    pesky roommates out.
42. the nonviolence way
    Yell from the streets, march
    to and fro, let everyone
    know why we’re angry.
43. the office cleanup
    Pack, trash, shred, file, place
    on shelves, stow in baskets, sweep,
    rearrange, compact.
44. lower your standards
    Why have the best when
    you can have fourth best? Why try
    for unreachables?
45. the lone birthday present
    It wasn’t much, but
    it was enough to stave off
    lonely bitterness.
46. infinite diversity in infinite combinations
    The franchise, in its
    seventh decade, plows ahead
    with more fun and shock.
47. internal calendar
    We feel a younger
    age than we are. Our spirit
    shines through our wan flesh.
48. on the minibike
    The youngster puttered
    around the farm, causing the
    chickens to scatter.
49. family gathering
    Young’uns running the
    halls, parents in the kitchen,
    Grandma in the den.
50. the loudest children on earth
    They open their mouths
    like normal kids but emit
    high-decibel booms.
51. yipping and yapping
    Doggy duo ruled
    room with microaggressive
    barks and energy.
52. closed for private party
    You can’t come in: We’re
    busy celebrating your
    being kept outside.
53. epic house party
    Lots of food and drink,
    a great endless playlist and
    friends and family.
54. the tech revolution
    Easier to text
    the children than shout over
    and over for them.
55. putting the “ai” in haiku
    This is a haiku
    about the nature. Pine cones
    come from cones of pine.
56. the blizzard
    Trapped indoors with no
    means of escape. Surviving
    until help arrives.
57. nepo babies
    Well, these Hollywood
    roles won’t cast themselves, will they?
    They’ll be stars, big stars!
58. add 45 days
    It takes 21
    days for a new habit to
    take. But that’s a myth.
59. the kayak incident
    My partner went for
    a swim. When he tried to climb
    back in … in I went!
60. the long withdrawal
    The blinding headache
    of weaning yourself off of
    caffeine pierces all.
61. what’s the steering wheel doing way over there?
    Everyone here drives
    on the left. There’s no way I
    can get used to it.
62. beach bummed
    Got my sunscreen on.
    Got my cold drink and good book …
    uh oh, here comes rain.
63. party barge
    Beer and booze for all
    as we swim and cavort and
    snorkel in the bay.
64. nightly facetimes
    I needed to see
    that face, that smile, on my screen
    while away from home.
65. the podcaster’s dilemma
    To let the guest shine
    or to hog the spotlight while
    showing off their smarts.
66. improv rules
    Learning how to build
    each other’s ideas while
    not going for laughs.
67. bite by bite
    They finished off the
    remaining ice cream and licked
    the bowl super clean.
68. forming new habits
    Every action you
    take is a vote for the type
    you wish to become.
69. strip mining memories
    Creative process
    includes plumbing deep depths of
    psyche for details.
70. the chatgpt dad joke
    I asked the chatbot
    for a doctor’s note, but it
    gave me excuses.
71. and chicken thighs
    Food is love. Cooking
    special dishes for special
    someone takes real heart.
72. ai takeover
    An approximate
    thinking engine is enough
    to fool most of us.
73. the path of elder care
    A winding trip through
    insurance and nursing homes
    and health aides and death.
74. party at amanda’s
    Head to basement for
    rocking out with local band,
    banana in hand.
75. i love you
    I said it, and I
    meant it. Don’t know why it took
    so long to utter.
76. furry rave
    Dress for bed and for
    a party with some panda
    PJs and glow stick.
77. tying the room together
    Throw out the shabby
    old rug, and throw down a new
    beauty to walk on.
78. the pegasus effect
    Governments use these
    military-grade tools to
    spy on civilians.
79. black life revealed
    Zora studied new
    cultures by taking part in
    songs and rituals.
80. the dinner that almost wasn’t
    He forgot to make
    the reservations, and the
    joint was filling fast.
81. moving offices
    They cleared out their small
    cubicles, hit the lights and
    left the rest behind.
82. the lasting of ‘the last of us’
    Wandering through a
    hellscape of zombies and rogues.
    *shakes fist at fungus*
83. the evolution of amazon
    Books to everything
    to knock-offs and “Lord of the
    Rings” and prescriptions.
84. one step back
    Twists and turns on the
    road to sobriety can
    include relapses.
85. why are we afraid of black history?
    Destroy all of our
    libraries and flog teachers
    who do not obey.
86. a one thread count
    Sheets made of burlap
    that scratch the skin and crackle
    when placed on the bed.
87. a dozen concerts on the calendar
    Wherever the bands
    play, whatever time they start,
    we’re gonna see them.
88. pothole city
    Cars bounce and tires
    pop on the unkempt roads of
    our metropolis.
89. the message of hip-hop
    A true 21st-
    century town crier who
    tells us where it’s at.
90. race cars and thimbles
    Traipsing through a flat
    Atlantic City to buy
    property for cheap.
91. the death of twitter
    All that was left was
    a self-styled pretender and
    adoring minions.
92. quite the racquet
    Not enough spaces
    for tennis, pickleball. We’ll
    settle it in court.
93. junk food jamboree
    Patties and buns in
    juicy combat to decide
    best burger in town.
94. the magic window
    Glimpses of life on
    active rotation, highlights
    and precious moments.
95. puzzlers
    Spending time sorting
    by edges and colors to
    build a large portrait.
96. brighter days ahead
    The lie of the clock
    is that it’s earlier than
    it was yesterday.
97. the modern awards show
    Flashy staging and
    slick graphics with the same old
    bigwigs and speeches.
98. f is for fentanyl
    Kills without remorse
    this opioid scourge that hides
    in everyday drugs.
99. pie oh my
    Cherry, chocolate,
    chess, apple, pumpkin, Key lime,
    blueberry, pecan.
100. am i hungry?
     Learning to trust the
     body for signals to feed
     and to stop feeding.
101. yelp wanted
     Scroll through the choices,
     pick a new restaurant for
     dinner on a dare.

• • •

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Photo: T.K. Mc

Happy New Year! May 2023 be fanciful and wondrous.

Video: Darlene Love performs “Christmas (Baby Please Come Home)”
on “The Late Show with David Letterman.”

Merry Christmas!

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1. the last corona virgin
   Get thee behind me,
   COVID. You shall not cross this
   masked face, these washed hands.
2. we report, you comply
   When a news network
   lies to you all day, all night,
   it’s brainwash city.
3. we’ve already moved on
   The mass shootings of
   today are forgotten long
   before the blood dries.
4. a focus on the numbers
   She cared more about
   the target, even taking
   unhealthy chances.
5. parton the interruption
   Philanthropist, song-
   writer, angel, a hell of
   a businesswoman.
6. non-stop flow
   Time flies, or it creeps
   in this petty pace. But it
   always goes forward.
7. saturday at the costco
   A warehouse filled with
   shoppers in a frenzy for
   discount bulk salmon.
8. patriotic pickins
   What American
   boy hasn’t tried Rice Krispie
   treats? It’s in our blood.
9. brigade of helpers
   They made the most of
   the day by installing the
   laminate wood floor.
10. belabor day
    Quiet quitting. The
    Great Resignation. Looks like
    labor fighting back.
11. probably not
    Does this poem make
    you angry or question all
    your base assumptions?
12. the new skate park
    The boys made up new
    tricks as they glided and jumped
    and fell on each curve.
13. waiting for da dough
    The bakery line
    stretched 20-people deep as
    aromas wafted.
14. secret identity
    My mind wanders as
    we exchange pleasantries: Where
    do I know you from?
15. bugging in
    Vaccinated and
    boosted (twice!) and I still caught
    coronavirus.
16. tiresome
    They spent their weekend
    nights peeling out in circles
    while evading cops.
17. some is forgiven
    The crushing weight of
    student loans becomes somewhat
    lighter in a snap.
18. there’s always community college
    Education is
    too precious to let any
    yokel in the door.
19. can’t spell ‘ain’t’ without ai
    Listen up, nerds: I
    don’t need no algorithm
    to decide my fate.
20. penalty boxed
    It’s quite a racket
    that the government has when
    it comes to bounced checks.
21. groundhog century
    Does history make
    progress ever, or are we
    stuck in a time loop?
22. concert under the stars
    A warm summer’s eve
    as the bluegrass band takes the
    stage before a crowd.
23. generation gaffe
    Should we really know
    TikTok and Dua Lipa
    and “Euphoria”?
24. alternative school
    Either for the real
    geniuses or criminal-
    ly inclined or both?
25. debt-free me
    I owe nothing to
    nobody, and that’s how it’s
    gonna stay for now.
26. getting adult braces
    Just like teenage years,
    the metal braces steer these
    wayward ancient teeth.
27. calendar vs. climate
    Will the blazing heat
    of endless summer ever
    make room for fall leaves?
28. food is love
    Every morsel a
    hug, every calorie a
    blessing. Food is love.
29. meme economy
    We’re cranking them out
    just as fast as possible.
    Demand is so high.
30. cash free is the way to be
    This venue accepts
    only credit and debit
    cards. As God insists.
31. power naps
    I lie down on a
    pad to recharge myself. So
    does my dead smartphone.
32. palpable bitterness
    Life’s too short to let
    bygones be bygones. Embrace
    the darkness within.
33. brownie à la mode
    Ever dream of a
    dessert only to have it
    come true? Life is sweet.
34. the version in my head
    Is canon. Ships the
    best twosomes. Blows the effects
    budget. Has endings.
35. zzz’s please
    Sleep, a miracle
    drug that heals fatigue and a
    large set of ailments.
36. lizard in the house
    How did you get in
    here, little guy, and why are
    you up on the wall?
37. droughts, fires, floods and debris
    The weather tells us
    in hurricanes and heat waves:
    Climate change is real.
38. ragin’ contagion
    The pandemic is
    not over for millions of
    vulnerable folks.
39. mortified on a daily basis
    Thinking of little
    else than stupid screwups from
    20 years ago.
40. fall festival season
    Bring on the art and
    exotic foods and music
    and cooler weather.
41. homecoming haze
    Let the alumni
    wander the halls and look back
    on their good ol’ days.
42. the selfish friend
    Always ready with
    the wrong sentiment or the
    discouraging word.
43. the bad boss
    He berates as he
    breathes, heaping scorn on the ones
    he hired for work.
44. have you tried dried fruits?
    Like a kind of food
    parody where no one’s in
    on the spicy joke.
45. daylight saving forever
    At some point, we’ll stop
    setting clocks back and live with
    brighter days ahead.
46. the last half-season i forgot to watch
    I will probably
    never go back to see what
    happened to my buds.
47. the pool is closed
    Hang up the swim trunks.
    Clear out the leaves and put on
    the safety cover.
48. working the stadium concession stand
    Band kids and their folks
    shovel popcorn and serve hot
    dogs to raise money.
49. fruity fondness
    Gimme those hand pies
    straight from fryer or oven.
    Let me burn my mouth.
50. yelling, gesturing, repeating
    Talking in vain while
    listening to the band play
    deafeningly loud.
51. shaky knees
    Standing upright one
    minute, feeling woozy the
    next minute. What gives?
52. reno woes
    The contractor was
    supposed to start the project
    sometime last Thursday.
53. home sweet home office
    A place to pay the
    bills, write novels and hide from
    the whole family.
54. odd hours
    Have breakfast at noon,
    nap around dinnertime, go
    to sleep at sunrise.
55. the hazing ritual
    Get beaten over
    and over because it’s how
    we always do things.
56. the little farm stand
    Minnie and Jed run
    the place, showing off their fresh
    produce and hay bales.
57. everyone has a price
    Can you be bought? Are
    your scruples for sale? Are you
    unimpeachable?
58. fundamental telepathy
    Do we really want
    to know what people say when
    we are not around?
59. waisted
    These pants used to fit
    me fine. Now they remind me
    not to have dessert.
60. all dressed up
    A night on the town
    with my lady starts with fine
    fashion and footwear.
61. candy shopping
    Cheapest? Full bars? The
    kind we like to nibble on?
    Pennies and raisins?
62. waiting in the er
    Not enough staff but
    plenty of patients sweating
    it out for hours.
63. in a dark alley
    All he remembered
    of the mugging was the gun
    pointed in his face.
64. magic in the air
    The witches’ ball has
    ghoulish fun, cheap scares and a
    VIP section.
65. potheads not prisoners
    When will this country’s
    criminalization of
    marijuana end?
66. the spirit of all hallows’ eve
    We scare ourselves to
    feel alive, to face our fears,
    to know true horror.
67. death takes a holiday
    Honoring those who’ve
    passed with fond remembrances,
    lovely ofrendas.
68. candyland
    Off to the stores to
    rack up half-price chocolates
    and various sweets.
69. the servers left behind
    A restaurant can
    only run short staffed for so
    long before it fails.
70. what they did to get into college
    The little dumdums
    made up activities and
    had others take tests.
71. what they did to get into college, part 2
    They relied on the
    worst stereotypes to dress
    up their normal lives.
72. hour hands are tied
    An extra hour
    to set all the clocks inside
    and outside the house.
73. the opening act
    A band, not quite as
    famous, but good enough for
    the show’s early birds.
74. democracy at stake
    A referendum
    on the integrity of
    our own elections.
75. the human purse
    Pockets for keys and
    gum, debit cards and lip balm
    and whatever else.
76. southern snafus
    Birmingham traffic:
    280 sucks. Atlanta
    traffic: Hold my beer.
77. veterans day … special?
    Can we offer more
    than discounts and fanfare to
    those who served our land?
78. fall shower
    Brilliant leaves of gold
    and red and orange drifting down
    from audacious heights.
79. at the marcus king show
    A fan collapses.
    Security guards surround.
    CPR started.
80. shut out at the bakery. twice.
    Surprise! Doors are locked.
    Why hast thou forsaken me,
    Google? I believed.
81. learning indian menus
    Try a new dish and
    record it in the log book.
    Slow but rewarding.
82. first day on the job
    Report to HR
    to fill out paperwork and
    show my ID cards.
83. a taste of sushi
    She timidly tried
    a bite, processing the smell,
    texture and flavor.
84. the idlest boy in alabama
    Staring at the clock,
    waiting on an assignment,
    ready for nothing.
85. beating hiv
    Not just unlocking
    the treatment, but also a
    preventative shot.
86. the algorithm of crime
    New patterns based on
    old ones that oppress, detain
    and discriminate.
87. a ball of stress
    Unable to sit
    still and relax, waiting for
    the worst to happen.
88. bracing for family
    Here come the in-laws
    and relations to invade
    our houses. Deep breaths.
89. thank you consequence
    It’s a healthy thing
    practicing gratitude … makes
    you less of a dick.
90. foodie holiday
    Gimme that pumpkin
    pie, that gravy boat, some of
    that homemade dressing.
91. the 15-hour pot roast
    Every check on the
    slow cooker lets out heat so
    it’s even slower.
92. the late night visitor
    She snuck in through the
    dimly lit corridors to
    tuck in beside him.
93. an ode to recruiters
    Ready to sign you
    up, ready to size you up,
    gone just as quickly.
94. worth a thousand words
    A beaming smile bursts
    forth from the images of
    our nights on the town.
95. debt free is the way to be
    No more house or car
    payments, credit card interest
    or old student loans.
96. volunteering for the wrong reasons
    Doesn’t matter as
    long as you put more good and
    giving in the world.
97. the truth is paywalled but the lies are free
    Paywalled sites bear the
    fruit of investigative
    journalism, so …
98. beyond heartbreak
    Even after we
    oust them, abusive exes
    continue their harm.
99. oh and dumbledore’s gay
    Representation
    after the fact shows a lack
    of author backbone.
100. personal pillow valet
     She brought her own to
     sleep more soundly, tossing the
     old ones from the bed.
101. beyond boundaries
     If we don’t set them,
     we handle relationships
     at our own peril.

• • •

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Video: Las Vegas engineer designs floats and more for
Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. 

Happy Thanksgiving, y’all! Go behind the scenes of the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade.

Video: Livestream of the 2022 National Veterans Day parade

It’s time to honor the men and women of America’s armed forces.

The 2022 National Veterans Day parade starts at 11 a.m. downtown. The video livestream above will have coverage of the event.

Map: National Veterans Day parade route

Who won their races today in the midterm elections? Here are results from the top offices in Alabama, Jefferson and Shelby Counties …

More election coverage in our Vote 2022 special report.

Update Nov. 9: Voter turnout statewide was 38.5 percent, the worst showing in 36 years. Jefferson County had a 41.1 percent turnout, while Shelby County had a 41.8 percent turnout.

Statewide turnout in previous midterms was 49.8 percent in 2018, 41 percent in 2014 and 57.5 percent in 2010.

(Updating throughout the evening.)

(Contested races only)

• D = Democrat | I = incumbent | L = Libertarian | R = Republican
  
• Winner in red

• • •

More Vote 2022 coverage.