Wade’s 101: Haiku retrospective
By Wade Kwon- blur of days
I did this Sunday.
(Or was that last Saturday?)
Is today Tuesday?! - what to wear
Fall fashion forecast,
Everything goes in cycles.
Black is the new black. - cubicle blues
Office pal takes off
for better job — so happy!
(Can I have his desk?) - sell out
Poetry is free
But writing time is money …
I should charge five cents. - a luv supreme
Who’s the gal that rocks
the big bench at the S.C.?
Harriet Miers!Who’s the law lady
with balls the size of Texas?
Harriet Miers! - all is lost
The numbers 4, 8,
15, 16, 23,
and 42 suck.Mysterious isle
lulls survivors with tropic–
LOOK OUT! POLAR BEAR!!!!If a plane crashes
In the middle of nowhere,
Does it make sense? Wait …Hunger, fights, monster,
Others, traps, island madness.
Worst. Junket. Ever.Conflict. Then flashback.
Weird stuff. Then flashback again.
Ends with head scratching.Follow Jack? Why not?
Follow Locke? Isn’t he nuts??
Follow Kate? Hell yeah.Down the hatch we go.
“Quarantine” is for wusses.
The tribe has spoken. - this flirt goes to 11
Club disease redux:
Shout to make conversation
“WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY?” - health scare
Cough cough, sniffle, cough.
Is it safe to be this sick?
I’ll shoot the bird flu. - band of bothers
Live strong, wristband says.
A talking bracelet? What the …
Cancer of the spaz. - barista’s nightmare
Coffeehouse brings buzz.
Not great if you hate java.
“One dainty roast, please.” - belly aching
Greasy diner food
doesn’t sit well in my tum.
Eat healthy or die. - three and out. repeat.
Game still in progress,
Will this madness never end?
Zero to zero. - up and autumn
Fall wanders to town,
Hues turn non-green with envy,
No leaf left behind. - desk conversation starter
“I didn’t hear you.”
“I move on little cat feet.”
(“Don’t scare me like that.”) - pet frenzy
Cat and dog skitter
in game of room-to-room tag.
You’re it! No, you’re it! - national past time
World Series trudges on,
Some team versus another.
Wake me for hockey. - nu-clear channel
Radio active!
Creed song repeats endlessly.
Hope it stays broken. - oh, shoot
Almost hunting time,
Guns, insults at the ready.
We are all fair game. - narrowing daylight
Clocks need a break, too,
One hour to rest tiny hands.
Spring forward, fall back. - comfy chair
Race you to the chair
So comfy and inviting
Let’s sit for a spell. - all hollow eve
Candy-grubbing brats
at my doorstep all night long.
Trick or treat indeed. - dry spell
This drought has gone on
far too long without relief.
Let it rain on me. - rosa parks r.i.p.
Rosa laid to rest.
Heavenly sign from above:
“This seat for Ms. Parks.” - november to dismember
TV joy surging
Guest stars, breaking news, big changes …
Bless my box it’s sweeps! - party time
What time to party?
So few dates to select from …
Holidays a daze. - laundry quandary
Time to wash the clothes.
Dryers getting colder fast.
Quarter gets you five. - can’t move
So comfortable
In my afternoon stupor.
Sleep, perchance to nap. - start your blowing
Engines rev all day
Scattering leaves to and fro
Rakes!!! For heaven’s sakes! - l’émeute de paris
City of Lights burns,
Youths riot around the clock,
Zut! No mime is safe. - hot hot hot
November summer
Eighty-degree days afoot
A/C so breezy. - car on fire
Flaming vehicle
lights up commute to office.
Stop rubbernecking. - steam america, world fleece
Heated metal slab pushes
wrinkles from the cotton sea.
Will iron for food. - town meeting
We see the neighbors
everywhere we go in town.
Can’t they stay at home? - lonely light
Darker days ahead.
Your smile, a beacon to trust
as it leads us home. - recipe mix
What to cook this week?
So much at supermarket …
Takeout wins. Again. - sudoku! gesundheit!
The semi-blank grid
demands digital input.
Five. No, eight! Or six? - stacked
Piles of paperwork
all ready to be ignored.
Sweep away this junk. - nagging retro question
Relax, don’t do it.
Come now, did Frankie ever
get to Hollywood? - orange you glad we didn’t say banana
“Knock, knock.” “Who’s there?” “Me.”
“Me who?” “Methinks this could be
some lousy punchline.” - curfew-sion
Teen mob sees late show
Unchecked by prying parents.
Please don’t steal my ride. - bugging out
Nose runs at trouble.
Nagging cough, fevered forehead.
Time to stay in bed. - the dream
Chased by dark figure
No escape from history
Except to wake up. - minute details
Phone plan seems skimpy
Not enough minutes per month
How much over am I?!? - close quarters
Server checks again,
She’s in my personal space.
Get away from me!! - gobble-licious
Binge, gorge, stuff your face.
Tom Turkey waits for no one.
Trytophantastic! - shopping conundrum
Gift list keeps growing.
Nothing quite matches up this year.
Sigh. Gift cards for all. - brand ex
Labels come and go.
Marketing is forever.
You do buy that, right? - mistaken identity theft
Shredded pages fill the bags,
safe from prying eyes of thieves …
Unless they have tape. - fine whine
Complaint department
has heard it all before, so
keep your gripes short, sweet. - at the parking meter
Parked car driver sits.
Why is that woman still there?
Creepy creepy spot. - buenos tacos
Kit has all, knows all.
Turkey beats beef for frying.
Stuffed in crunchy shells. - o christmas tree
Fake fir mans corner.
(Do they still make wooden trees?)
The cheer is still real. - nog your head
Creamy beverage
(smells like daddy after work)
thickens down my throat. - froze toes
Chilly morn numbs face.
Too frosty to rise from bed.
Old Man Winter laughs. - can’t top that holiday feeling
Holiday sweater
has embroidered snowpeople
in blue pill “blizzard.” - bite me, boss
Toil without praise.
Kill my supervisor, please,.
then spit on the corpse. - great smokies
Fog of nicotine
closes in on shallow breaths.
Gasp gasp pant gasp wheeze. - very small screen
Watch shows on iPod.
Tiny Regis, Ripa spar.
Welcome to future? - space, travel
No parking in sight.
Driving, looking and hoping.
Make up your own spot. - busy season
Office parties? Check.
Family gatherings? Check.
Time for fun? Uh-oh … - richard pryor r.i.p.
Comedic genius
and crazy motherfucker
always on fire. - fruit war
Bananas attack.
Apples fight back; peaches flee.
It’s threat level orange. - can’t stop
Brake system failure
leads to vehicular splat.
So no slow mo? Whoa! - sleepy time
Head barely stays up
Not enough shuteye for me.
Must not fall asl– zzzzz. - late-night diner
Blinding fluorescents
sting my weary eyes tonight.
Burger will soothe ache. - coded conversation
Echoes of shop talk
spill forth after a long day.
It’s all geek to me. - fa la la la la la la ha!
Deck the halls with boughs
(Boughs? Does anyone say that?)
… (why halls? No alcoves?!) - brutally malled
Shoppers choke the aisles
desperately seeking joy
in prepackaged goods. - kiddie caper
Scampering toddler
zips through door before you blink.
Must run on giggles. - be it resolved
New resolutions …
What should I fix in '06?
Perfection eludes. - two cents worthless
Stamp price hike comes soon.
Two cents more to send letters.
What is mail again? - patterned paper pusher
Naked presents need
to be wrapped, bowed, hidden quick!
All in favor? Eye. - winter of our discomfort
Chilly surroundings
make for constant shivering.
Permanent sweater. - rerun is a guy on what’s happening
DVD box set:
bliss for marathon viewing.
Ep, ep, ep, then ep. - watch wind-up
Everywhere they watch
with governmental finesse.
I spy … you and me. - the best gifts
Gift pile shrinks quickly
as wrappings litter the floor.
Christmas cheer has come. - so are the days of our kwanzaa
Umoja, nia,
and kujichagulia,
imani (plus three). - bookworm turn
Page after page scanned …
This lovely pastime, reading,
fills day with meaning. - off the lot
New car has its smell
even if it’s a used one.
Smells like … rush of wind. - brats worst
Bad kids run amok.
Whatever happened to shame?
It’s their parents’ fault. - mmv in review
Katrina, Iraq,
Tomkat, Scrushy, more Iraq,
Jacko, Martha, Kong. - cohen on and on
As year comes to end …
“Welcome to the '06, bitch.”
Then Seth makes a quip. - starting over
Bad habits of old
give way (hopefully) to our
new resolutions. - calendar con
New year is here now.
Where did time go exactly?
Yep, feels like, oh, five. - catching up
Timeless voices come
in tardy deliveries
to brighten mailbox. - conference panic room
Boss drones on and on
Will this meeting ever end?
Pull fire alarm. - unseasonably warm enough for you?
Sunshine in winter
warms my face from bitter wind.
A glimpse of springtime. - notorious upc
Scan, then bag. Repeat.
Self-serve is so much faster …
wait, clerk must clear screen. - not working out
Gym bag packed in hall.
Ready to go for yoga?
Or sit and veg out? - wish it were april
Wish it were April
so we could forget the cold
and spring everywhere. - refuse refuse
Garbage bags line street
sitting sentry with trash cans
while city trucks hide. - listening posts
No privacy for
citizens while watching out
for terrorists. Shh. - brook-back mountain
Oh sweet caviar,
Mercedes and stock options …
I just can’t quit you. - too early toddler
Baby girl wakes up
to demand bottle, blankie,
bear, books and big hugs. - debit by bit
Checkbook reckoning
comes out all wrong, leaving me
dizzy from balance. - customer, i hardly know her
“Excuse me, could you …”
“Wait, I need help finding the …”
Clerks pass like phantoms. - thoughts for a busy morning
Where are my dang keys?
Did I forget this meeting?
Who took my stapler? - avoiding gadget depot
Super Bowl XL
(extra large?) demands presence
of new huge TV. - driving, storm
Highway hidden by
sheets of rain; 18-wheeler
nearly engulfs me. - temp-estuous
If you can’t stand heat,
get the hell out of ‘Bama
in winter??! Warm spell. - gimme five, seven, five
Secret of writing
daily haiku: It’s pacing.
First hundred? Toughest.
• • •
Read more Wade’s 101.
Thursday, January 19, 2006, 1:34 pm
Another one-oh-one
But lines add to three-oh-three.
Much work for little reward.
Monday, January 23, 2006, 8:33 pm
I was astonished to read your haiku
all is lost
The numbers 4, 8,
15, 16, 23,
and 42 suck.
these numbers are inscribed on a wall in my building – graffiti . Can’t be a coincidence… Why did you choose this number series?
regards, and please do keep up the haiku.
Bob
Monday, January 23, 2006, 9:08 pm
We are everywhere.
Thursday, January 29, 2009, 3:15 pm
the first is my favorite. probably because i’ve found it increasingly difficult to recall what happened during the weekend when someone asks me on a monday what i did.
chris
Thursday, January 29, 2009, 9:24 pm
up and autumn
Fall wanders to town,
Hues turn non-green with envy,
No leaf left behind.
fruit war
Bananas attack.
Apples fight back; peaches flee.
It’s threat level orange.
brutally malled
Shoppers choke the aisles
desperately seeking joy
in prepackaged goods.
temp-estuous
If you can’t stand heat,
get the hell out of ‘Bama
in winter??! Warm spell.