Testy, testy: Thanks to scoring errors in standardized tests, 14 schools in Alabama were classified incorrectly in accountability reports under No Child Left Behind. Four schools were forced to transfer students even though they had actually achieved Adequate Yearly Progress status; the other 10 passed even though they should have been classified as “needs improvement.” A state education department spokeswoman said, “To take away AYP status now wouldn’t be the right thing to do and would really send the wrong message to these schools who are working so hard to meet academic goals.” Sure, but who’s going to hand out lollipops when these kids can’t get jobs because their diplomas “need improvement”?
• Firm’s error gave 14 Alabama schools the wrong status [Associated Press]
Meth stakes: What’s worse than a meth lab? A meth lab around children!! Under the new federal law, anyone caught making meth faces an additional 20 years in prison. Yet, the nonprofit Justice Policy Institute (favorite superhero: Martian Magistrate), based in Washington, says that drug-free zones around schools have failed to deter dealers or protect children. The study points out that Alabama has the biggest zones: a 3-mile radius around any school, or more than 28 square miles. Naturally, we’d suggest cranking that bitch up to a 4-mile radius.
• Federal laws stiffen sentences for meth drug traffickers [Birmingham News]
Too much trauma: For too long, trauma patients have been a drain on the system, but no longer. Victims in Birmingham will be unwitting participants in a medical study to determine the best IV solution. Normally, medical studies require informed consent from, um, conscious patients, but this National Institutes of Health study has special federal exemption. One risk is an allergic reaction, which isn’t a big deal, unless you’re in some sort of critical trauma situation. Those participating will have special yellow stars, we suspect.
• UAB to try new trauma therapy [Birmingham News]
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